10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."