10 Random Poker Quotes

• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."