10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."