10 Random Poker Quotes

• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.