10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.