10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.