10 Random Poker Quotes

• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!