10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph