10 Random Poker Quotes

• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Poker is for loners.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.