10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• im going to 2 out you to death
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.