10 Random Poker Quotes

• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.