10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "No river, no fish."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?