10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.