10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.