10 Random Poker Quotes

• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)