10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.