10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• The all-in play works everytime but once.