10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.