10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• "No river, no fish."
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes