10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus