10 Random Poker Quotes

• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."