10 Random Poker Quotes

• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."