10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.