10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo