10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Poker is for loners.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.