10 Random Poker Quotes

• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.