10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• im going to 2 out you to death
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"