10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"