10 Random Poker Quotes

• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"