10 Random Poker Quotes

• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"