10 Random Poker Quotes

• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• im going to 2 out you to death
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.