10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician