10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--