10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Welcome to kicker school