10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers