10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-