10 Random Poker Quotes

• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."