10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!