10 Random Poker Quotes

• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• Those eggs smell delicious!