10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• Those eggs smell delicious!