10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "No river, no fish."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.