10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen