10 Random Poker Quotes

• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson