10 Random Poker Quotes

• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.