10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "No river, no fish."
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson