10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo