10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)