10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe