10 Random Poker Quotes

• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.