10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen